People are a pain in the posterior. I am not excluding myself here. At times we are ALL selfish, self absorbed and rude. Some are also just straight lying, manipulative a**holes who derive pleasure from the misery of others. I've worked at about 26 customer service jobs in 20 years. Many of those years were spent in call centers. I hate call centers. I'm working at one now until I find something better. This job makes me consider day drinking. I can't stand most bosses I've worked for. I had one that couldn't spell, one who didn't want to pay us on time, one who INSISTED on calling me Christine and one now who circles our cubicles slowly like a chubby hawk with flabby wings, spying, trying to catch us on social media or our cell phones because she has nothing better to do. I can't stand most co-workers either. I'll get more into that some other time.
What makes my chin hair prickle more than anything else are annoying ass customers who blame you for the punk ass problems THEY create. At some point we have all been COMPLETELY in the wrong when we take our frustration out on customer service reps or hang up on them because we owe money we don't want to pay back. It's not my fault you didn't pay your bill, you don't get paid until next Friday and you're having a hard day. Honestly, I don't really care and you are interrupting my peace and tranquility with your horrible life. Here are 13 Types of Customers who THINK they are in the right but are almost ALWAYS dead wrong.
1. Impatient Customers:
Get the ENTIRE f*ck out of her with your impatient bullsh*t. Don't try to rush me! I already don't want to talk to you and don't care about your life. What are you in a hurry to do? Probably nothing. Calm down. You waited a long time on hold? So? You're in a hurry and I better make this quick? Nope. I suggest you wait. Short tempered people are met with contempt. Don't sigh or breathe all hard into the phone. Don't read your credit card number super fast because your pissed. I will make you read it again. I'm half way paying attention to you in the first place. I suggest you be nice. While you're at it, tell your loud ass kids and or dog to quiet down too.
2. Know-It-All Customers:
These customers are worse than the ones who want to share shitty jokes with you. They call you by your first name. They spell their ENTIRE name whether you asked them to or not. They HATE when you ask them questions they don't know the answer to. They NEVER just say, "I don't know." They get snippy and pompous. They spout out facts and information no one asked for. Who asked you? NOBODY! Know-It-All's in general are never really liked by other people. Don't ask how I'm doing. You don't really care. I get it. You read books. Good job. Don't ask me 8,000 questions. Don't ask where I'm located. Does it matter? How can I assist you in being quiet faster?
3: Customers who Get Mad, DEMAND a supervisor or Threaten to Cancel Membership:
No One Cares. You are not hurting my feelings by hanging up on me. I don't want to talk to you anyway. No one cares when you start yelling. Watch your tone. I don't appreciate your shitty disposition. You have forced my hand. Now I have to hang up on you. We also enjoy putting you on mute or on hold for a super long time. You mad bro? Oh well. You want a supervisor? Sure. Lemme put you on hold for 10 minutes while I look at Facebook until I transfer you to my supervisor who will tell you the SAME damn thing I did. You want to cancel your membership? Good! Don't call back!
4: Customers Who Ramble:
Talking too Much is a Horrible trait. EVERYONE hates that. Just answer my damn questions in the order I ask them and stfu. WHY must some people INSIST on going on, and on and f*cking ON about their life? PLEASE. Don't make me hang up on you. Let's work together here. I'm not your therapist, your friend or a concerned citizen. I am a disgruntled black lady with two giant kids to feed. Otherwise I would NOT be here listening to you yap away, sucking the soul out of my body with every word you utter. This may be why you're single or why you repel friends and family.
5. Customers Who Mumble/Don't Speak Clearly:
Speak up. Go somewhere where there is better reception. If I cannot understand you, I will most likely transfer you to someone else. Sorry, not sorry. No one has time to play Sherlock Holmes trying to solve the mystery of what the hell you're saying. People who mumble their words get on my last nerve. If it sounds like you're talking with a d*ck in your mouth, I'm going to get frustrated because I don't speak your c*ck mouthed language. I can take thick accents. You can have a long ass name I can barely pronounce. Cool. Just speak clearly and slowly unless you want to piss me off, get hung up on and have to call back again.
6. Sexist or Racist Customers:
YOU need MY help! I don't need you. Women can be sexist too. Don't assume my supervisor is a man. Lose that Ike Turner tone in your voice. Some wanna be Alpha males must have women in their lives who allow and condone their behavior. I'm not one of them and they don't scare me. Your screams, threats and sarcasm mean nothing to me. I'm typing blog posts while you figure out you're yelling to yourself because I hung up on you two minutes ago. One guy said, "I'm glad you're not from Asia or something." I thought to myself, "You probably have four teeth, you want to "Make America Great Again", and if you knew I was black you would be less cordial so eat 7,000 d*cks dude."
7. Rude or Whiny Customers Who Interrupt you:
I don't know who's worse, rude rich people or rude poor people. You can't be rude and poor. I mean, you can but nobody cares what your broke ass thinks. You can't be rude and rich either. No one cares what your overly privileged ass thinks either. Rude people period won't get far with me. Whining is just as bad. I refuse to coddle you. Suck it up. Don't start crying. Don't start complaining. Your tears will just wet your face in your attempt to manipulate the situation. I'm not your intern or case worker. I don't want to hear about how you're having a bad day. I am TOO! I'm sitting here talking to YOU!
8. "Repeat That Back To Me" Customers:
I HEARD you b*tch! You're just being an a**hole at this point. You KNOW I heard you and now you are being passive aggressive. Customers are like, "My number is blah, blah, blah. Now read that back to me." In my mind I'm like, "Dick, dick, dick? Did I get that right douche?" Ask me to repeat myself again and see what happens! I'll repeat it back with my middle finger pointed at the phone. Happy? Feel better now? Does that make you feel like a big, strong man? Well guess what? You're not and after we get off the phone you're going to back to feeling inadequate because deep down you KNOW you're being ridiculous. That goes for the ladies too. Watch how you talk to me. I'm not your man, your mom, your dad, your sister, your friend or anyone else close that you feel its O.K. to abuse. Pipe down.
9. Customers Who Say Dumb Sh*t:
We all say dumb sh*t sometimes. Very intelligent people say dumb things. Unintelligent people say the dumbest things. If you say dumb sh*t AND you're rude, expect to be hung up on. Trump supporters call in a lot. I can tell they are unattractive and missing teeth over the phone. Dumb comes in many different shapes, sizes, colors, ages, races and religions. I can understand if you're actually disabled or slow. Stupid for no reason is what irks me. Like, did you put ANY thought into the dumb shit coming out of your mouth or did you just decide to let it all splash out of your mouth like explosive diarrhea on purpose? Don't make me repeat myself. Put someone more intelligent on the phone. Who had sex with who to create YOU?
10. Customers Who Say, "And YOUR name is?":
What's my name? It's Christina bitch! Throw some "RESPEK" on it while you're at it! I said that at the beginning of the call didn't I? Am I supposed to be afraid of you? One old man asked what office I worked at like he was going to come here and do something. I fight the disabled. I fight the elderly too. It could go DOWN gramps. What does it matter what my name is? Are you going to report me? For What? To Who? I didn't do anything. I told you your bill was past due. YOU are the one who didn't pay your bill since October 2015 sir. NOT me. You mam, are the one who thought it was a great idea to put a call in for your grown ass son without knowing your credit card expired. How is it my fault if you call after business hours and the specific department you want is closed? It's not and I don't care about your unrealistic expectations.
When calls are coming in back to back, it wouldn't matter if you were my best friend from 2nd grade, I cannot STAND you and want you to go away. I work 1 PM to 9 PM. I am tired of this shit by 1:15 PM. The idea of day drinking hits around 2 PM. I go to break around 3 PM and pray for the strength to not just quit on the spot and say F*CK YOU to my boss. By 6 PM I head to lunch for my "30 minute break" which is actually more like 15 minutes because it takes 10 minutes to walk far as hell away to the employee parking lot and then 5 minutes to drive back so I can clock in on time. It's 7:30 PM now and a COMPLETE lack of concern rests deep in my heart. I'm off for the next two day. I still have kids so I'm never really off work EVER but at least I won't be chained to the sweat shop lollipop for a few days. I will find a new day job A.S.A.P. One day I will be my own boss and I'm sure customers and employees will get on my nerves in new and unique ways. Until then, I'm talkin' sh*t from a cubicle in Pittsburgh.
Can You Name Any Other Annoying Types of Customers? Comment Below!